Protect Your Time, with Christy Wright – Episode 60 of The Action Catalyst Podcast

Author, speaker, business coach and podcast host Christy Wright covers the importance of saying “no”, disappointing the RIGHT people, choosing between popular and effective, and why balance doesn’t mean 50/50.

About Christy:

Christy Wright is the #1 bestselling author of Business Boutique, Take Back Your Time, and Living True. She is a certified business coach, dynamic speaker, and personal development expert. Christy served for 12 years as a Ramsey Personality with Ramsey Solutions before taking a leap of faith to do something new. Christy has thousands of hours experience speaking professionally on some of the largest stages in the country and she now uses that experience to teach others how to make the impact they want to make. Whether she’s working with authors and entrepreneurs or speakers and preachers, Christy is masterful at teaching people how to craft messages that they are excited to share and confident to deliver. Christy has been featured on The Today Show and Fox News, and in Success, Entrepreneur, and Woman’s Day magazines. Christy lives in Nashville, Tennessee with her husband, Matt, and their three children Carter, Conley and Mary Grace.

Learn more at ChristyWright.com.

The Action Catalyst is presented by the Southwestern Family of Companies. With each episode, the podcast features some of the nation’s top thought leaders and experts, sharing meaningful tips and advice. Learn more at TheActionCatalyst.com, subscribe below or wherever you listen to podcasts, and be sure to leave a rating and review!

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(Transcribed using A.I. / May include errors):

Host
I’m so excited to introduce to you Christy Wright. And she is inspiring and enthusiastic. She educates and entertains audiences all across the country. She speaks at business conferences, fortune 500 companies, some of America’s top universities. And so Christy, I’m so excited to have you thank you for being here.

Christy Wright
Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.

Host
So, you know, when we talk about time management, why do you think that is so important today? Why is that whole conversation such a big deal?

Christy Wright
Well, you know, it’s interesting in the last few years, and speaking on this topic, it’s such a pain point for people, it’s just something that we’re struggling with, in every industry, every demographic, every age, every generation, it doesn’t matter, the gender, anything we’re all struggling with, how to deal with our time and how to manage it. Because we never seem to have enough for everything that we want to do. And I think one of the real challenges is that we don’t realize just how finite it is, you can get more of anything in life that you want. Except time, you can earn more money, you can gain more relationships, you can buy more stuff. But regardless of how much power or money or family have in your lifetime, you cannot have a single minute more than every other person has, which is exactly 24 hours in a day. So when we think about just how finite our time there, you start to realize how incredibly valuable I one thing we can’t get more of, so that it’s more important that we really make sure we’re putting it in the best places the right prices, and using it in a way that’s gonna be the most effective for what the results we want to get.

Host
If time is finite. And it’s the one thing that we all have the same amount of and you can’t create more of them. Why do you think some people accomplish more things and influence more people? So what’s the explanation for that?

Christy Wright
Well, I think how we manage it is definitely a big differentiator for our success, we have to keep in mind to everyone’s version of success is very different. So someone that is a high achiever will have different goals than someone that is like, you know, who just wants to have a small people live in a small town and not have accomplishments or accolades, or they’re, they value different things. And so, our brothers and our success will really determine how we how we handle our time, but because time is so finite, we all have the same amount, then how we handle that really determines our ability to be our version of successful. And so when you look at it that way, you start thinking, okay, how can I manage this in a way? That’s going to get me to the results that I want to get to you? And what’s interesting is, there’s a great quote by Warren Buffett, where he says the difference between successful people and very successful people, is that very successful people say no, to almost everything. And I would say to answer your question, what’s the difference between our ability to be successful with our time, it really comes down to our ability to say no, because when we can’t say no to things that, you know, demands and opportunities and guilt sets and things people have indicated to them, we live our lives for other people. And we don’t end up intentionally creating it on purpose, creating a schedule on purpose proactively to get out all we’re achieving everyone else’s results. And so I think it comes down to the ability to say no, and whether or not we’re going to use that time, in the way that we want to reach our goals.

Host
So, when it comes to saying no, and I really think about that, a lot of times we know, you know, we get asked to do something, we really don’t want to do it. And we feel this, we feel this guilt, what would you say to somebody who struggles with, you know, saying no, and, and the guilt or the fear that they may be sealed to go, I really want to say no, but I’m having a hard time doing it.

Christy Wright
I think the reality is that we have a kid or a to believe that, you know, somehow we can prove everyone and now that we intellectually understand that we can’t, but we decide to, and that’s where that comes from wanting to say yes, and please that person versus do the right thing. And say no, but it’s not the lesson for you. But the reality is, if we can understand that you will always disappoint people, because your time, your money and your energy of finite, you’re always gonna have to make choices. And so leadership is really about making the right choices. And when we realize that you’re going to disappoint people in leadership, you will disappoint people that is a fact. But the key is just disappointing to white people. And if you discern that to understand, I’m gonna say yes to this situation, because this is the right decision for me and for my business and while I’m doing my goal, then you have a little bit more profit In order to say no to that person, because you’re focused more on here yet, this is so that I can say yes to this thing versus just feeling the guilt of saying no to this other person, or really, I mean, all leaders, and everyone in general, we want, we want to make people happy, we don’t want to disappoint people. But I think we realized that we’re saying no, in order to say yes to something better, and something will work for us and get focused on the guests. And that makes it a little bit easier to do that. You need to decide and leadership, do you want to be popular? Or do you want to be effective? Because you can speak and you can be popular to make everyone happy to say, Yes, everyone is happy, everyone says, but you’re not going to be effective. And if you’re gonna be effective, sometimes that involves saying no, and doing the right thing for the greater good of the business and the gold and the copper, or yourself personally. But that leads to more effective leader, possibly less popular at times, which is hard, but in the long run, everyone will benefit when you’re more effective.

Host
Yeah. So how do we avoid overcrowding the schedule?

Christy Wright
Well this is a problem for a lot of people because it’s just so normal our culture, as a culture, we are maxed out, or maxed out, our credit cards were maxed out our time and our commitment, we were burning the candle at both ends. And this is just the normal day to day, or people stand around the watercooler and talk about just how little sleep they got that night before, almost like it’s a badge of honor, and how hard we work, how long we work, how much we have going on how many errands etc. But the reality is, is that felt what leads to a productive or even fulfilling life, because it’s not sustainable long term, you’re not going to be as effective or productive at work if you maintain that long term. And so really, the idea of just to avoid overcrowding, your schedule is to create margin. So you want to create pockets of time. And it’s not a prescription of it has to be this amount of hours. But you need to have some margin and some cushion in your time, just like we teach people with the life account. You don’t want to live paycheck to paycheck, you need some cushion and savings and some margin to fall back on with your energy. And that’s true with your time. I wrote an article on my blog about this a couple months ago. But what if we just treated our schedule and our energy a little bit differently, where we stopped before we were completely burnt out exhausted, where we called out moments of time, whether that’s an hour or 20 minutes or an entire day, where we didn’t allow any commitments to come in. And then we’re able to focus on rest and recovery and hobbies, and their families. And some of the things that time when we went back, we were actually more productive and effective. But the way that we operate right now, if I have five extra minutes that try to crowbar something else in and write a blog real quick or catch up with someone or make a call. It’s like we don’t have to operate that way. And we’ll actually be more effective if we can create some space and margin. It doesn’t make sense logically, because we think, Oh, I could be getting more done. But essentially, those pockets of time is what’s going to enable you to be more effective long term and be more sustainable for the long haul and leadership, when the demands are back continue to increase. You can’t be creative, when you’re exhausted. There’s no room for new possibilities. There’s no room for spontaneity, where you and your wife just want to go off on a trip or hey, let’s go to this new random website. There’s no room for so many wonderful things in life, like creative creativity and rest and rejuvenation, and recovery and new possibilities, innovation, all the things that are in space, and stuff we never allow there to be unbelievable or in or faith in, we’re missing out on all those awesome things in life that also enrich our business and ourselves personally.

Host
So you talk about boundaries, what do you see is the connection between boundaries and your calendar?

Christy Wright
I think when you set a boundary, and these, these are absolutely its guidelines. But when you set a boundary, it really helps you decide in advance. And when you make decisions in advance, it takes away so much of the mental angst of trying to decide in the moment, every single time an opportunity, or a request comes up where you’ve got that pool of water for No, but I feel like I need to say yes, and you’ve got this mental anxiety going on. If you have a few boundaries that are in place, that you go ahead, and you have already decided in advance that the pressure off of you where you can rely on that boundary because it made the decision for you. So I’ll give you an example. Sunday night or night that my husband and I have perfected since the beginning since we even date it and it’s just upon that we set aside and we said, with very few exceptions. This is the night that we’re gonna have together. We don’t do anything exciting. We do laundry and just get up and hang out and get ready for the week. It’s not a very exciting time, but it’s our time that has protected that time that we can count on together. So anytime anyone asks me to do anything on Sunday night, I don’t even have to think about it. Making that decision is effortless. I’m like oh no, I’m sorry. That’s That’s awesome. My husband and I, and what Doug later this really protects our priorities and it keeps life’s endless demands from chipping away at those because you have this protected does. Now of course exceptions come up this last week. I flew out on Sunday because I was going to Connecticut to speak have been doing media and then go to Philadelphia and We didn’t have yesterday. So there’s gonna be a few exceptions, it’s not rigid and absolute, but for the majority of the time, that the time that he and I can tell him and it’s a great boundary that makes decision making effortless on you, which is what you need when you’re already in so high demand, people get caught up in this idea of okay things as being I’m gonna supposed to work 50% of the time and be at home 50% of the time, and no, that’s not realistic. That’s not the world that we live in. It’s not how we function. And so I tell people, it’s really not about a 5050 split, it’s about being 100% present, when you’re at work, work hard, be there be focus, when you’re at home, put the phone down, close the computer and be present for the people and the moments and the memories that are happening, right and five years. Life Balance is not about giving everything an equal amount of time. It’s about giving the right things at the right time. And so there’s going to be seasons where you want more. So it’s good to have an ebb and a flow. But people get caught up in this prescription of it have to have this equation that equals balance. Well, it’s really not that it’s really just carving out time for the right thing for you, and giving them attention at the right time in your life, when that makes sense.

Host
So, you know, one of the things that’s just heartbreaking for me is when people you know, they have kids, and they feel so like helpless, like oh my gosh, how do I keep up with a spouse? And my job and I have kids and all this sort of stuff? Do you have? Have you seen any any sort of common characteristics or traits of people that really do that effectively?

Christy Wright
Yeah, I think it comes back to kind of what we were just saying, there’s no one right? I have prescription for it. But here’s one of the things I have identified, the people that are the most fulfilled and have that sense of balance, meaning they just they feel he’s looking self, if that equal split of things, but they just feel pretty good about the way that their life looks up. People spend all their time, or at least the far majority of their time, on things that are important to them. And they don’t do things that unimportant to them. Where the opposite is also true. The people that they may have families, they have jobs and their federal maybe, you know, they may manage their schedule well. But when they spend their time on things that they don’t care about, just like you and I was saying they go to this place want to go to, they take on projects they shouldn’t take on, they take on other people’s problems and responsibilities are not there. They quickly get stressed, quickly get exhausted and anxious and frustrated, because they’re doing things that are not important to them. So your decision making paradigm is, do they need me and can I do it, and you spend all of your time for someone else, you will get stressed and frustrated and feel Alabama out of balance, even if you have all the time in the world. But you can be incredibly busy and incredibly productive and you could have a lot of things on your plate. But if those things are all important to you, then you have a little bit more sense of balance because you’re not wasting time just trying to fill fill everyone else’s needs and pleasing other people. You know that what you’re doing actually gives you energy and joy because you chose our purpose versus reacting to someone else. Someone else’s demands of you.

Host
I love that. So Christy, thank you so much for being here. We wish you the very best.

Christy Wright
I appreciate it.